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The Lie of Someday

January 5, 2010 Simply Happier

There are a lot of things you probably want to do, and you plan on getting to them. You know, someday. Many of us spend our lives waiting for that someday to come. Unfortunately, it often never appears. Thats because someday is usually a fantasy. It is the perfect situation for you to go out and do, get, see, and experience all of the things you have ever wanted. Its the most ideal time to do everything you ever wanted. Its when you know you will succeed. When you know that you simply wont fail. Sure someday might come… someday.

The trouble with all of this someday business is that its all based on things that have so little of a chance of happening that you may as well put all of your hopes and dreams into a lottery ticket. The thing is that your situation will likely never be completely perfect for doing all of the things you want to do. Putting all of your hopes into the perfect situation of someday and getting upset when it doesn’t happen is kind of like buying the lottery ticket and getting mad when you don’t win. It doesn’t do anything to help your situation.

Doing nothing but waiting for someday to happen is counterproductive. Each day that someday doesn’t come, you loose a little bit more of your motivation. This is motivation you need to seek out your hopes and dreams. It does no good to let it drift away so easily by waiting for a day which may never come.

Make someday today
Whatever you goals are, what is stopping you from taking the first step right now, today? Fear of failure? If thats it then you may as well keep on waiting for someday because theres pretty much always going to be a chance of failure. No matter what your goals are, the chances are you will probably fail from time to time. While its true that if you never try to begin with you won’t have to suffer the embarrassment of failure. But what about the embarrassment of never trying? Isn’t that a form of failure in itself? After all, if you never try then you can never really succeed.

As has been probably repeated in several articles, what really counts is that you at least take the first step. For example, if you want to go back to school, then start looking around. Looking doesn’t require a commitment, but it gets you closer to being able to make one. Thats why the first step is so important. It sets the wheels in motion and helps you get moving towards the kind of life you want to live.

Suppose that you want to write a great novel, but you have a job, kids, or some other kind of obligation preventing you from doing it. These are all things you need to pay attention to, and they do likely take up a majority of your time. However, this does not mean that you simply cannot make time for something you truly love.

If you want to write that novel, you don’t need to be able set aside hours and hours every day. All you need is to be able to set aside a small amount of time here and there. While its true that not much can usually get done in a small amount of time, it can definitely add up. Even if all you can spare is 20 minutes a day, eventually it adds up as long as you can stick with it. 20 minutes a day adds up to 140 minutes per week, or about 7300 minutes a year. Thats also assuming that you only do the minimum 20 minutes. If however you are able to find extra time on weekends and such, then you can greatly increase the time spent towards completing your goal.

You might be surprised what you end up with if you only take the first step and stop waiting for someday.

The lie of someday

Make someday today.

Whatever you goals are, what is stopping you from taking the first step right now, today? Fear of failure? If thats it then you may as well keep on waiting for someday because theres pretty much always going to be a chance of failure. No matter what your goals are, the chances are you will probably fail from time to time. While its true that if you never try to begin with you won’t have to suffer the embarrassment of failure. But what about the embarrassment of never trying? Isn’t that a form of failure in itself? After all, if you never try then you can never really succeed.

You might be surprised what you end up with if you only take the first step and stop waiting for someday.

Weekly Declutter

December 8, 2009 Simply Happier

Clutter can creep up when you least expect it, and from sources you never thought it could come from. To help prevent clutter from creeping in and putting unneeded stress in your life, you can try making a new weekly goal for yourself. This goal involves finding at least one thing each week to unclutter. By decluttering at least one thing each week, you will be able to incrementally change your environment for the better. Each week you can make it a point to be a little more organized and clutter free than the week before. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just as long as its something.

What to declutter
The various kinds of things you can work towards decluttering are nearly endless. Your goal of the week might be something simple such as getting rid of something you no longer use. It can also be a bit more ambitious such as organizing an entire closet. How ambitious you want to be for any given week is up to you, but keep in mind that this goal should be designed to be sustained for a long time.

If you try to start too big, you might find yourself getting fed up with the weekly goal far too soon for it to have any real long term benefit. This means that you should be careful to not burn out in a week with a marathon organization day. So instead of doing the entire closet, you might consider doing just a section of the closet one week, and another section a different week. That way it is less likely that you are going to get tired of the work.

By continuously working towards decluttering your life, you can find all kinds of benefits. One such benefit is that you will likely be able to find things easier. This means that less time is spent looking for things, which gives you more time for other things more enjoyable.

Challenge Yourself

November 24, 2009 Simply Happier

Life without challenges is little more than a procession of one menial tasks or event after another. Challenges are what make things interesting and exciting. They are one of the primary deterrents of boredom, and have the potential to be one of your biggest sources of motivation. If you are working on overcoming a reasonable challenge, then chances are you are able to be focus, engaged, and have some kind of meaning in your life. What more could you really ask for?

Indeed, challenges can be a source of great happiness. They have the ability to give your actions both meaning and purpose.

Finding the right challenges
Not every challenge is created equal, and to find one that fits right with you can be a challenge in itself. Give yourself a bigger challenge than you can handle are you are likely to end up in deep frustration and disappointment. On the other hand, if you give yourself too small of a challenge then you may find yourself becoming bored and unmotivated. The importance of finding the right challenges for you is critical.

The right challenge is neither too easy as to incite boredom, nor too hard as to evoke relentless frustration. It usually allows you to either build upon your preexisting skills, or learn new ones. A good challenge is something you should be able to take pride in completing.

Getting the most out of a challenge
One of the primary purposes of putting yourself through a challenge is to receive the potential rewards for having completed it. A good challenge should give you at least some kind of reward whether it be in increased skills, material gain, or just plain fun. If it is a challenge is to be worth your efforts, then you should be able to gain something from it.

The things you gain from a challenge can vary greatly depending on how you actually work towards completing that challenge. For example, if your challenge is to complete a particular task in order to receive some reward, then you can reasonable assume that the reward for the challenge is the reward you will receive when the task is complete. While this is true, there are many more rewards you can potentially receive other than the big payout.

Sometimes the things you gain along your journey are worth just as much and sometimes even more than the final reward. It could be that during your task you may have the opportunity to increase a particular skill, or build a better relationship with someone you care about. Both of these things aren’t related to the final payout, but both can be greatly beneficial.

Indeed, challenges can be a source of great happiness. They have the ability to give your actions both meaning and purpose.

Finding the right challenges

Not every challenge is created equal, and to find one that fits right with you can be a challenge in itself. Give yourself a bigger challenge than you can handle are you are likely to end up in deep frustration and disappointment. On the other hand, if you give yourself too small of a challenge then you may find yourself becoming bored and unmotivated. The importance of finding the right challenges for you is critical.

Getting the most out of a challenge

One of the primary purposes of putting yourself through a challenge is to receive the potential rewards for having completed it. A good challenge should give you at least some kind of reward whether it be in increased skills, material gain, or just plain fun. If it is a challenge is to be worth your efforts, then you should be able to gain something from it.

Less Wanting, More Getting

November 17, 2009 Simply Happier

You can spend countless hours sitting around and thinking about all of the things you want to do, see and experience in this life. Unfortunately, most things never progress beyond the stage of mere thinking. The trouble isn’t finding the ambition or willingness, its being to get the ball rolling to start actually working on doing, seeing, and experiencing the things you want. The more time you spend pining over the things you want, the less time you have available to actually work towards getting them.

Start small, start big, start anywhere
Find somewhere to start. It doesn’t always matter where or how. Just make some sort of effort towards getting getting there. Even the smallest step possible lets you at least get your foot in the door. Its easy to put things off and make excuses for not doing them. Always saying you’ll do it “later” can lead to disaster. This “later” often never comes and before you know it weeks, months, or even years will have gone by while your still in the thinking stage.

What would the perfect you do?
Think about yourself acting in a way that you would consider the perfect version of yourself. Picture yourself having the answers, and knowing just what to do. Think about how this version of you would go about getting the things that you want. Is it the same way the real you does things? If not, then why not? What do you do that could be done in a better or more productive way?

Watch how its done
Chances are that many of the things you want to do, see, and experience have been done, seen, and experienced by someone before. You can use this knowledge as a great tool in getting these things for yourself by learning how other people like you did it. Learn about what steps they took to get what they wanted. This can give you a good idea of some possible paths and actions to take towards getting what you want.

Find Your Motivation

November 10, 2009 Simply Happier

Do you ever find yourself feeling unwilling to do the things you know must be done? One of the most likely problems related to this condition is the lack of motivation. Lacking motivation promotes laziness and makes necessary things a lot harder to do. Without the proper motivation, doing what needs to be done can be really hard.

Usually things start out pretty good. You have a pretty good amount of motivation at first. Then later you find your willingness slowly begin to degrade. When this begins to happen, one important question to ask yourself is why? To help you find out why, one thing you can do is to figure out what gave you motivation to begin with, and then think about why it has dwindled from its original level. It could be that you are just burned out and need a break. Even the most exciting activities get old after a while. When this happens, the problem is still a lack of motivation, but sometimes one of the best ways to get re-motivated is to take a bit of a break.

Motivation is a tool. You can use it to give yourself a reason to do things that you would not ordinarily have the strength or willpower to do. Like any tool though, it can eventually wear down and need to be maintained or replaced.

Maintaining Motivation

When you maintain motivation, you are essentially rekindling your original reasons for doing what you do. You can do this by thinking back to the reasons you started your goal, task, or project to begin with. Find what made you want to do what you are doing. Find the good in what you are doing, and think about how it is going to help you or those around you. If you can find what originally made you want to begin your goal, then you are likely to be one step closer to getting back on track with your motivation.

Replacing Motivation

Sometimes the original reason you were motivated to do something just fades over time. It can easily become less and less important as you become tired of your goal. One way to fix this is to think about why you are still trying to complete the task at hand. If your original motivation seems to be gone, yet you are still working towards the same goal than maybe there is a another reason for what you are doing. Think about any other reasons or benefits you might get from doing that you are doing. It is possible that you might just find an even stronger form of motivation than your original.

Not to worry though, it happens to the best of us from time to time. When motivation begins to dwindle, sometimes its best to remind yourself exactly what makes you do what you do to begin with.

Whether it be with your job, school, or other obligations, finding your source of motivation can be a great help. It gives you a reason to want to go to school. It gives you a reason to want to go to work.

Save for Something Good

October 27, 2009 Simply Happier

Other than the necessities, there are probably many small things you might purchase which don’t really give you much satisfaction. One alternative to this is to save your extra money for something that will give you a much greater and longer lasting level of satisfaction. This usually means investing in things more valuable to you. Rather than getting many small things, you can save for something really big that will mean a lot to you. Investing your extra money in this way, if done right, can be more meaningful and much more gratifying.

Longevity
One advantage to saving for something great and meaningful is that bigger and more expensive things are generally more likely to last longer than smaller, cheaper things. This lets you enjoy your investment more over a much greater period of time. Because of this, it can be more likely that the bigger things will have a greater impact on your life. This means that the benefits of having it will be greater.

Quality
Another good part about saving for something big is that you are more likely to get something that is much higher quality. This can make your overall experience more enjoyable than it would otherwise be with something cheaper. Also when you buy things of greater quality, you might even end up saving money in the long run because it is more likely to outlast things of inferior quality. Higher quality items are usually more durable, and can generally be relied upon more than similar things of less quality.

Happiness
When you save and save to buy something big, there is probably a good chance that you will derive a lot more happiness from that object than if it were something cheaper. This happiness comes not only through direct use, but also just through the thought of knowing you have such a great thing. You can enjoy just about every aspect of having nice things from the anticipation during the saving process, to the act of obtaining what you desire. Also, since the investment was greater, you will be more likely to use the object.

While it can be greatly beneficial to use your spending money in this way, it is always a good idea to think these things through before you leap. Before making any big investments with your money, you’ll need to make sure that you can actually afford to use what you have saved. Also, keep in mind any maintenance costs of the things you are considering buying since more expensive things may cost more to maintain. It is a good idea to make sure you can afford not only to spend the money on what you want, but also make sure that you can afford to maintain it.

Unlock Your Potential

October 20, 2009 Simply Happier

You can sit around for days, weeks, and even months thinking about the things you want to accomplish. Unfortunately since you probably cant move objects with your mind, just sitting around and thinking about things isn’t going to get much done. The potential to do great things remains inside you, but it cannot come out unless you actually do something about it. The only thing thats going to get done what you want done is well.. doing it. Seems obvious right? If the answer is so obvious, then why is it so hard to actually go out and accomplish certain things? There can be quite a few reasons, but general laziness is likely to be one of the most common.

Resist Laziness

Laziness is one of the most prevalent reasons for not getting what you want done because its simply way too easy too just let things remain as they are. It requires very little effort to sit and think about what you want. The effort required to bring out your potential far more considerable. Lets take finding a new job for example. You can sit around and think about having a new job every day for the rest of your life, but nothing is likely to change unless you do something about your situation. This means getting up and taking action. It means changing your daily habits to reflect your desires. In other words, it means bringing fourth your true potential to a situation.

The amount of effort you put into obtaining what you want can be largely determined by your resistance to laziness and the strength of your desire. The more resistance you have, the less likely you are to sit around and procrastinate. Likewise, the stronger your desire, the more motivation you are likely to have.

Be Responsible for yourself

Be responsible for what you do. You and you alone are responsible for your actions and accomplishments. Sure, there may be other factors involved, but for the most part you are the primary catalyst of it all. You determine what you bring into your life. Good or bad, its up to you to determine how you want to handle your given situation.

You can sit around thinking about how to make things better for yourself, or you can go and do something to make things better for yourself. You can sit and take pity on yourself for whatever situation your in, or you can try and do something to improve things for yourself. By sitting around and letting laziness or whatever factors prevent you from accomplishing your goals, you are making a decision to let those things dictate your life. You are responsible for getting done what you want done. The responsibility for not letting things like laziness have power over your actions is upon you. The potential to do a lot of good for yourself and the world around you is within you. You only need to unlock it.

Appreciating what you have

October 15, 2009 Simply Happier

While its important to continue improve upon yourself, it is also important to take some time out to just be happy with your current situation. Its easy to get lost in the constant struggle to get to the next big thing. The trouble is that there are almost always going to be some things that could be better. You could spend your while life worrying about what you don’t have, without ever fully appreciating what you do have.

Realize what you have
Its not always easy to appreciate what you have simply because you don’t realize you have it. There are a lot of things you probably have that you might take for granted every day. Even if you don’t think much of something, it could be a lot more than many other people have(or ever will for that matter).

Just the fact that your able to read this article means that you most likely have internet access, which by itself is a big thing to be appreciative of. Here is a list of a few categories which might help you come up with some things you have to be appreciative for:

Heath
Family
Friends
Hobbies
Interests
Possessions

These categories are meant to be very basic and broad ranging. You can find specific things to appreciate by expanding upon them. All you need to do is find a category in which you have a lot of things to appreciative, and think of some things within that category. For example, if you have a large or close family you could think of the family members which mean the most to you. You can also think of some of the things they have recently done for you. These categories just to help get you started, if they don’t quite work out, you can always make up your own.

The main point is that if you don’t take the time to just sit back and enjoy what you have, then you are missing out. You probably had to work quite hard to be very lucky to have some of things you have in your life. Why not take the time to really enjoy the fact that you have them?

Choosing Quality

September 29, 2009 Simply Happier

Quality vs Quantity, Quantity vs Quality. Some tasks require you to focus on quantity when completing them, while other require you to focus on quality. The trouble comes in figuring out when it is worth the extra time and effort to choose quality over quantity.

Why Choose Quality?
In a way, you represent yourself to the world through things you do and achieve. When you create something, you are leaving behind a representation of your abilities. You are showing the world what you can do. Likewise, when you perform a task you are demonstrating what you can do, and how well you can do it. When you accomplish something that you have worked hard on and consider to be high quality you can gain quite a lot, and you usually represent yourself in a good way. It is because of this that it is important to focus on quality when working towards accomplishing meaningful goals and tasks.

Quality is often regarded more highly than quantity because it can be longer lasting, more satisfying, and more rewarding. When you do something to the best of your abilities, it shows. Likewise, when you do something with less than adequate effort, it also shows. It is up to you to determine if it is worth accomplishing a task in a quality way. While rushing through things might cause you to complete your task quicker, it will likely cause your task to be done in a less complete, and lower quality way.

Rewards in Quality
When you produce something with quality in mind, you are more likely to find better rewards for having done it. The down side is that you will not likely find rewards quite as often as when you focus on quantity. This is because tasks are likely to take longer to complete. Every situation is unique, and a trade off is made when you decide on quantity over quality, or quality over quantity. It is up to you to weigh the potential rewards and benefits of quality vs quantity.

When not to choose quality
Not every situation justifies the extra cost and effort required to perform a task in a quality way. In fact, by performing some tasks with less quality, you free yourself and your resources for performing better at other more important tasks. This in itself is a form of quality. It is managing your tasks in a quality way. For example, you might not want to spend your time doing meaningless tasks in quality ways.

One such instance where quantity might outweigh quality would be a task such as folding clothes. Its likely that you will receive little to no benefit for having painstakingly folded each of your articles of clothing at an exact 90 degree angle using a protractor. On the other hand, if you spend this time completing a meaningful goal instead, the rewards are likely to be much more significant. Quality comes not only in physically performing tasks, but also in how you manage them.

Defining and Planning Goals

September 22, 2009 Simply Happier

One of the first things to do when setting a goal is to fully define what the goals purpose is. This means figuring out what you hope to achieve upon completing the goal. In other words, why are you setting this goal to begin with? Not having a good reason for creating a goal to begin with makes it harder to have a reason to see it through. When you have a genuinely good reason for setting a goal, you usually have a better source of motivation when it comes to completing it. This is why one of the most important things to ask yourself about a goal is what you hope to achieve by accomplishing it. When you have answered this question, you have given your goal a greater sense of definition and purpose.

Planning

After you have your goal defined, the next step is to begin planning it out. First find out what things you will need in order to accomplish your goal. Here are some questions you might ask yourself when you are in the planning stage of setting your goal:

How will you delegate time to your goal (daily, weekly, monthly, etc)?

How much time per delegation are you willing to spend on your goal?

How much time do you expect your goal to take in order to complete?

Once you have gone though these questions, you can make a rough approximation of how feasible your goal actually is. One way to do this is to take the total time you expect your goal to occupy, and divide it by the amount you are willing to devote per delegation of time. This should give you an idea of how long you expect the goal to take in order to complete. For example, if you are going to delegate 1 hour per day to your goal and you expect your goal to take 10 hours, then the estimated goal completion would time would be 10 days. This is easy enough to figure out, but the amount of time a goal is going to take is all too often overlooked. When a goal takes much longer than expected is when you can start to become discouraged. So be sure to try and make a good estimation of your goal before beginning on it. This way you’ll have a more realistic idea of what to expect.

Going for it

Once you have you goal planned out and defined, the next step is to begin the implementation stage. This is the stage that will really determine if your goal is accomplished, and how well. Hopefully by the time you begin this step, you will have your goal well defined, and have a solid plan. The only place to go from here is to take the first step, and then try your best to accomplish the goal you have prepared for.

Thinking in Probabilities

September 15, 2009 Simply Happier

A good part of life can be thought of as a very complicated relationship of probabilities. Sometimes the odds are in your favor, and sometimes they’re not. Many times you can help tip the odds in your favor by doing certain things. This doesn’t ensure you will always come out ahead and win, but it at least gives you a better chance at doing so. When the odds are in your favor, the only thing you really know is that the end result of you winning is more likely to occur.

What do you mean, win?
Before going any further, lets more fully define the meaning of “win” in regards to this article. When I say win, what I’m mostly referring to is you getting what you want. That’s it. It can be just about any situation from passing a class, getting a job you desire, or winning a new sports car. Of course, situations where you really lose when you win aren’t being put into this equation. These are situations such as if you win and get the new job, and then end up disliking it. Or if you win and get the sports car, and then shortly thereafter to go into debt from speeding tickets. For the sake of simplicity, situations such as these are excluded from this articles definition of “win”.

So then, what does it take to optimize your chances of winning? Well, for starters you’ll usually want the odds to be in your favor to begin with. If they aren’t that’s still okay though since you can often alter them through your actions. You do this by doing things that will increase your chances of getting what you want. Start by thinking of a set of things you can do to increase your chances of obtaining your goal. When you have a couple things in mind, think of the things from that set which are likely to increase your chances to most.

Beware of probability relationships
Many probabilities are inter-related, so you should carefully consider any consequences to other things before starting on your goal of increasing your odds. For example, the probability of you getting the career you desire might go up as you put more time and effort into it. However, doing this might bring down the probability of getting other things you desire, such as finishing up other personal goals or projects. Sometimes its all a game of trade offs, and you’ll need to consider what is most important.

Keep your goal in line
Remember, the goal is to increase your odds of winning. While the desired result may be that you win or lose, what you are really working towards is only to increase your chances of winning. This is because increasing your chances is pretty much one of the only things you can do improve the situation. Winning or losing is the end result, and not something you can really directly put work into. Working the balance of probabilities is the part you put work into. There are no guarantees, which is why the goal is only to increase your chances the best you can.

While its true that sometimes you win even against unspeakable odds, this is just good luck. It can happen to anyone, at any time. This is the type of thing you can hope for, but not reasonably expect. Its mostly just an occasional pleasant surprise. Usually the better position to be in is to have the odds in your favor through planning and hard work, rather than simply hoping for the best.

How to Deal With Clutter

September 8, 2009 Simply Happier

how-to-deal-with-clutter Clutter is one of those things that only gets worse if you try to ignore it. It creeps into your living space, makes you late for appointments, and causes all kinds of other disruptions in your life. Eventually things get so bad that you are faced with the situation of having to deal with it, only by that time things have gotten so cluttered that you don’t even know where to begin.

Where to begin
When clutter gets really bad, it can be hard to decide where to begin your de-cluttering process. Start by laying out a road map of what needs to be done. You can do this by making a to do list of objects or areas that need to be un-cluttered. At first this should just be a short list since the point is to get a general idea of the work that needs to be done. Once you have your list, a good idea might be to rate the items on it in order of priority.

Refine your list
Once you have your basic list, you can then refine it down further if need be. To determine whether or not your list needs to be refined, think of each item in terms of the amount of time you would estimate it to take. If an item has an unreasonable amount of time attached to it, then you can probably narrow it down into several items. For example, instead of just writing something like “Clean the attic”, you could break this item down into several items such as “go through the boxes in the right corner of the attic”, “clear out the collection of broken computer parts all over the attic floor”, and “clean up the green slime on the attic ceiling”. Try not to think of clutter as one big mountain. Instead, think of it in small pieces.

Work Progressively
Going all out and charging at a room screaming “I will de-clutterize you!” while holding a plastic sword in the air probably isn’t going to do much good (Although the enthusiasm is admirable). If your trying to de-clutter a large mess, your best bet is to put more of a slower release on that enthusiasm and start with something you can manage. For example, if you are trying to de-clutter an entire room, start in one small corner. From there you can work your way around the room, little by little. If you’ve made a refined list with various tasks do to in the room, you can prioritize the tasks and determine what you want to do first. That way clutter doesn’t seem so overwhelming, and it becomes easier to manage. Also, you can gain a greater sense of self satisfaction by having multiple mini goals to work towards.

Prevention
When you have something clutter free, the only real thing left to do is practice good clutter prevention. Simply put, this means not putting junk onto something clean. Simple enough idea, but its implementation can be difficult if you do not make a conscious effort of it. Just remember that little things add up quicker than you might realize, and one misplaced item can quickly turns into several.

How to Leave Your Past Behind

September 1, 2009 Simply Happier

The past can often be a source of confusion, regretfulness, and doubt which is unnecessarily harmful to your present state of being. Getting over your past is a very powerful step towards living better in your present. This of course, is easier said than done.
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Generally you probably know which thoughts about your past are beneficial, and which are only hurting you. You most likely enjoy thinking about happy past events, while slightly cringe at reminders of less pleasureful times. To a certain point its okay to think about painful past events in order to learn from them, but you should not let this casual thinking turn into obsession. When you obsess about painful thoughts, its easy to become fearful, angry, and self doubting. This is no way to be happy.

Acceptance
“Accept your past.” You’ve probably read or heard this phrase before. In fact you’ve probably head it so often that it might almost seem like common sense knowledge. The concept behind it seems simple enough. Its pretty much just another way of saying “Get over it.” But what does this really mean? What does it actually mean to get over something? Does it mean that you wont think about it anymore? No… not really, because you can be “over” something and still think about it occasionally.

Then does it mean you wont feel pain from memories of it anymore? Well, this may be one definition of getting over something, but its hardly something that can be controlled. Often enough time is the only thing that fully heals pain associated with thoughts. Acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t think about painful events, nor does it really mean that you won’t feel pain from them. It more so means that your okay with the given situation. It means that you know a certain event happened, you know that it caused you pain, and you know that in time you will not feel so bad about it. It means that you are okay with whatever happened, and can accept the fact that it happened.

Acceptance is important and should not be overlooked when trying to get over past events. Often its best to learn what you can from your past, learn to accept it, and move on with things the best you can.

Be Active
When thoughts past events are bothering you, one of the best ways to relieve some of the stress is by keeping yourself active. Your mind is a powerful thing, but it can only consciously focus on a handful of things at one time. Fortunately you can take advantage of that situation. Keep your mind occupied by giving it something to do or focus on. This way you bring your attention to something of your choosing, instead of something unwanted.

Move forward
In the past you were who you were, and things happened as they did. There is no changing that. If you want to change something, there is really only one direction to go, and its not backward. Remember, time is going to move forward whether or not your mind does. Anything that happened in the past is unchangeable and therefore not usually worth dwelling upon. Unfortunately its all too easy to obsess about painful events. The more you think about them, the harder they seem to be to let go of. It is for this reason that after you have learned everything you are really going to learn from your past and accepted it, you should move forward and work on what good things you want to bring into your life.

Seven Things You Dont Need to Buy

August 25, 2009 Simply Happier

When you are trying to save up some extra money, it can be beneficial to cut out some of the expenses you really don’t need. The trouble with this is trying to find out just what you can and can’t cut from your budget. Listed here are a few ideas of items that you might be able to consider cutting out in order to help your finances.

1) Candy
Sweet sweet candy. The temporary satisfaction of biting into some kind of sugar product. It is quite rewarding. Unfortunately the reward typically only lasts a few minutes at most. These products give you temporary satisfaction in exchange for your hard earned money.

2) Gourmet Drinks
The daily coffee/tea/espresso or whatever your inner gourmet tells you. These things can really eat a hole in your wallet since its very easy to have a daily habit of buying them. Before you know it, you’ve spent hundreds of dollars for paper cups filled with some fancily named drink that you might even be able to make for yourself for much cheaper.

3) Junk food
Junk foods are another one of those things that can be quite addicting. You can help curb this habit a bit by giving yourself a bit of a reality check by taking a look at one of your previous grocery shopping receipts. Just for fun, total up the amount of money spent on items you would consider to be junk food. You might be surprised how much you really spend on this stuff.

4) Gadgets
As tempting as it may be to get the latest phone/tv/game system/etc, constantly trying to keep up with the gadget trends can be one of your biggest financial sinks. Before buying something like this, its beneficial to make yourself wait a certain amount of time before actually making the purchase. By waiting a bit, you can get a better picture of how much you really want something. One simple way to help avoid these temptations to begin with is to avoid reading/learning/talking about them. After all, if you don’t know that there out there, how could you want to buy one?

5) Decorations
While it can be fun to liven up your living area, if your on a tight budget then you may want to put a hold on getting any new decorations for a while.

6) Television with a Cable subscription
The cost of having a television with a cable subscription encompasses not only the cost of the subscription itself, but also the electrical costs of running the television. Then there is also the cost of just having a television, which eventually breaks and causes you to either have to pay to repair it, or buy a new one.

7) More Telephone Service than you need
There are certain things you just need a telephone for, so its not really very practical to cut this expense out completely. However, this doesn’t mean that you cant at least cut down your costs dramatically. The costs of telephone service can be quite expensive, even if you don’t even really talk on the phone that much. Many phone plans charge you regardless of whether or not you talk a lot. Also, if you have both a land line and a cell phone then consider going with only one or the other. If you really think it over for a while, you might find that you really don’t actually need both a land line and cell phone. Also for those who don’t talk much, you might want to look at some of the cheaper pay as you go plans for cell phones.

How to Stay With An Exercise Routine

August 18, 2009 Simply Happier

Planning and setting up an exercise routine is fairly easy, and its benefits are well known. The hard part is staying with it. You might initially begin your routine with a really good start, but before you know it your morale begins to decline and eventually your activity level diminishes.

One of the problems is the amount physical work, discipline, commitment and determination that exercising actually requires. In today’s society you might work hard typing away at lightning speed, sending text messages halfway across the country(or world for the ambitious). But all too often words like walk, jog, and run are nothing more than speed settings on a riding lawn mower.

Sure, you might also be used to lifting some weight here or there. Maybe you’ve even occasionally used your awesome strength to impress everyone by pulling a paper jam from a printer. Unfortunately, even the mightiest paper jam can be put to shame by a few simple exercise weights.

So how then does a modern human being stand a chance of establishing an exercise routine in a world where a persons idea of a vigorous workout is having to park at the far end of the parking lot?

Start small…

Though it may not seem like it at first, one of the main hurdles to overcome when beginning an exercise program is the amount of excitement you initially have. You might be jumping for joy at the prospect of a fitter, new you. But be careful not to overdo it. Its incredibly easy to begin a routine with a great amount of enthusiasm and effort, only to find yourself falling behind a week or two later.

When you start big, you eventually begin to get tired of trying to maintain the same drive and determination you had began with. As the initial excitement wears off, it can get harder and harder to maintain the same high level of activity as part of a regular routine. This leads to you loosing motivation, which leads to shorter and less enthusiastic workouts. Eventually this causes you to start skipping out on a few exercises all together. Then before you really even realize what happened, you notice that its been weeks since you’ve last exercised.

This sad sad tale is all too common…

The problem is that you start out too fast and with too much effort. This isn’t a baking contest, and you aren’t really going to find instant gratification. Instead of trying to get a big jump start by pouring all kinds of effort into your first few days, it is important to learn to pace yourself. Start off slowly, and then work your way up from there when you feel really ready. This way you will be able to have longer lasting enthusiasm because its likely that you won’t have such a strong desire to lower your activity level after the initial excitement wears off.

Commitment…
Laziness and procrastination are powerful forces. Establishing a basic plan for an exercise routine is your first line of defense against these forces, as well as your first step towards making a commitment. By setting up some kind of plan, you are saying to yourself “Okay, this is what I am committing myself to.” Having at least a somewhat formal plan helps keep you on track.

You can set your initial exercise plan to say that you will exercise every day, every other day, or even just once a week. Whats important is having a starting point which you know you can stick to. Your initial commitment should be something reasonably easy to start with. That way you will have a base line that you can follow to make sure that you do not get too overwhelmed. You can easily increase your base line if you feel compelled, but it can be devastating to your routine if you need to continuously decrease your minimum. So pick something that you know you can stay with and be careful not to commit yourself to something that is unrealistic. The key is having a minimum that you can commit to follow. Without a solid commitment of some kind, procrastination and laziness can easily invade and wreak havoc on any hopes of establishing a good exercise routine.

Going All In

August 11, 2009 Simply Happier

When betting in a no limits poker game, you often have the option to go all in. This indicates that you are betting everything you have on your particular hand of cards. Usually you only do this when you are pretty confident that your particular hand is not going to be beat. When going all in, your potential reward is often increased greatly, and your chances of success are also likely to increase since others may become intimidated by the risk and fore fit the round. On the other hand, if you loose… you loose everything that you have bet.

Applying it to life
This idea of Going all in can be applied to many situations in your everyday life. Instead of betting with chips though, you are betting with your own personal resources(energy, effort, etc). For any given thing you are doing, you have the ability to control the amount of resources you bet. You can give the situation only a small amount of your resources, or you might decide that the situation is worth giving your all and go all in.

Why Go all in?
One situation you may go all in is when you find something that really sparks your interest, such as when you find something that you are really passionate about. When this happens you don’t even really think of your resources as a bet or investment. You mostly just have fun giving your all in something you love. This is an ideal situation because if you end up being unsuccessful, you may loose the resources you have put in, but you still have fun along the way. In this way, its not as much of a loss. When you loose, you still win a little bit.

Not every situation is ideal though, and not everything you put a great amount of your resources in is something that you are truly passionate about. Often you might find yourself going all in out of necessity or desire for improvement. For example, you may not be passionate about getting a specific certification or degree, but you know that if you go all in and put fourth your best possible effort that the rewards for success can well worth the bet. Of course in this situation, the event of failure stings quite a bit more because you loose the resources invested, and often did not enjoy putting fourth all that effort.

Accepting the Consequences
Just like in cards, as you bet more your potential reward and chances of success are often increased. But you must keep in mind that should you be unsuccessful, you loose the resources you have invested. It is important to choose wisely when deciding to bet everything on a situation. Before deciding to give a situation either most of all of your resources, make sure that you will be able to accept whatever happens. It is important to be able to accept an unsuccessful situation, and face the reality of having lost what you have put in. If you cannot face this situation, than you have no business making such large bets with your personal resources.

Become A Master

August 4, 2009 Simply Happier

All too often countless hours are spent “trying out” various things. You develop skills and abilities on things that you only ever really end up becoming just okay at. While its important to try many different things to find what you like and don’t like, its very beneficial to just buckle down and really master at least one thing in your life. Focusing your time and energy on knowing how to do one thing really well can end up being more than worth the boredom, stress, and time lost not doing other things. The rewards for knowing how to do something exceptionally well are exponentially greater than being just okay at a variety of things. Picking something to master instead of just being okay at a lot of things usually pays off quite well.

But what if you are too indecisive? What if you just cant commit to just one thing? You like to dabble. You know… Try lots of different things. Maybe your afraid that you’ll get bored doing just one thing. Well, lets remove that doubt right now. The fact is you probably will get bored doing just one thing. Even masters get bored with their subject. The difference between someone who is able to master something and someone who only ever becomes mediocre at it is mostly determined by their ability to stick with it.

Sure passion, discipline, luck, talent, motivation, etc all have a bit to do with becoming a master.. but your ability to stick with it is what really matters. You need to be able to face the fact that there will probably be times when you get bored, irritated, upset, annoyed, and feel like quitting. These should be expected. No one said being a master was easy. If mastering something was easy, then most people would do it and its value would degrade. But luckily(and unfortunately depending on how you look at it) mastering something is usually quite difficult. Therefore it is rare and valuable.

Masters are rewarded, remembered, and respected, while mere dabblers hardly ever even get to show off what they can only do a mediocre job of. Just being able to say you can sort of do x or y thing is hardly impressive. What draws a crowd is being able to show that you are really great at something. Showing off something you had to practice for countless hours/months/days/years gains you a tremendous amount of benefits.

When you show off something that is truly impressive, the world around you responds as you would probably expect. Once you can prove your abilities and show you have mastered your subject, people will start to turn to you for help and advice. You will be viewed as someone who “Just Knows” how things work within your particular skill set. Someday you might even be the one who is writing books and teaching others about the very thing you yourself were once just learning.

In short, pick something you want to master, and make sure you stick with it.

Overcome Worries

July 21, 2009 Simply Happier

Worrying is something that you have probably done quite a bit throughout your life. Its one of those things that just kind of happens, and it often seems to go in phases where there are some times that you worry more often than others. Worries usually cause stress, which then cause more worries. Getting too caught up in your worries can end up hurting many areas of your life if your not careful. Thankfully there are quite a few things you can do to eliminate or at least significantly reduce your worries.

Figure out the cause
In order to fix something, its useful to know the cause of the problem. Worries can occasionally have an obvious cause, such as some big event happening in your life that causes a good amount of stress. The stress from the event then causes worries. Often enough though, worries are caused by a multitude of small things. The trouble with the small things is that its incredibly hard to notice them until its too late and your already stressed out and worrying about all kinds of things. Whether it be big things or small though, the key here is stress. Find whats stressing you out, and may may just find the cause of your worries.

Realize they don’t matter
Most worries are about things that don’t matter. When you notice yourself worrying about something, try thinking about whether or not it really affects your life. Think about if you’ll even remember what you were worrying about a week from now. If you don’t expect it to be on you mind for very long, then why bother letting it get to you?

Do something Relaxing
Find whatever it is that relaxes you and go do it. Play a game, go for a walk/run/swim/jog/bike ride. It doesn’t really matter what. Just as long as it is a calming activity that know you to be beneficial.

Talk to someone about it
Talking to someone about your worries can be a two sided coin. One one side it helps by giving you an opportunity to vent your frustrations. This can make you feel quite a bit better, and whoever you talk to may give you strength and advice on how to get through your troubles. In contrast, it brings your problems out in the open and forces you to revisit what is bothering you.

Take a break
Sometimes you just need to stop what your doing, and get away for a while. At the very least this may mean just going outside and walking around for a few minutes to clear your head. Alternatively it may mean going ahead and taking a real break from things by taking a vacation to somewhere fun, interesting, or relaxing.

Time to Relax

July 14, 2009 Simply Happier

All to often you can get caught up in life’s distractions and forget about ever taking a moment to relax. Most things are not important enough to skip having this time for yourself, yet often enough they still tend to get in the way.

Skipping this important time for yourself can be detrimental to your mental, physical, and emotional well being. Not only does taking time out for yourself help relieve stress, but it also helps you stay focused on the things that are really important.

The time you take out of the day to relax is really more of an investment than anything else. You spend a few moments of potential productivity to take some time to yourself, but what you get back is well worth it. For the few moments you take to yourself, you can get a big boost in productivity which more than makes up for the time invested in relaxing. It also helps you down the road by making you better able to deal with whatever comes your way, which in itself is nearly priceless.

How to find the time

If it always seems like you never have a moment to just take a break from things, then you might want to consider planning out some time in advance. You may need to do this anywhere from a few hours in advance, to a few days. The important thing here is that you find a time that works well for you. Just make sure that it is not so far out there that you’ll have forgotten about it by the time it comes.

Actually finding a time that works well for you can be a task in itself(but well worth the effort!). When planning things out, make sure that you will not have anything else that will need your immediate attention. Also, its good to plan for a time when you know you can be in a place that is at least somewhat free of negative distractions. Negative distractions can be nasty little things that ruin your entire moment by focusing your attention away from relaxing, and onto other more stressful things. This is why it is best to find places that will keep these at a minimum.

Relax with what you love

One thing to consider if you are planning some relaxation time, is what the word relax actually means to you. Relaxing does not always mean sitting around in a hammock between two palm trees sipping tropical drinks(although that would probably work quite well). Instead, relaxing can mean many things to many different people. It can even mean many different things to a single person.

The trick to finding what works for you is to look for things that calm you down the most. Start by looking at some of the things you do to calm yourself down when you are stressed out. What eventually gets you back to feeling somewhat normal? Many times the things that you use as stress relievers are things that can be done when you just feel like relaxing (as long as you are not relying on bad habits).

Remember, time taken to relax is an investment.

Entertainment on a Budget

July 7, 2009 Simply Happier

Money is a key component in our society. Every bit of money you earn usually costs you something. That may be time, risk, or something else. Whatever it is, money represents value. The more money you use on things that are low value, the less money you will have for things of higher value. Also, generally the more you spend the more you will have to exchange to replace whats been spent. This is good to keep in mind if you are trying to find motivation to save money or stay within a budget. There are so many ways to spend your time so that you are both being entertained, and not hurting your overall finances too much.

Listed here are ten of these potential sources of entertainment.

1. Go for a walk
Going for a walk provides entertainment and exercise all in one. It can also help you become better acquainted with the area around where you live by giving you a closer look at things than driving usually allows. The ability to drive everywhere is great and everything, but sometimes walking brings your attention to new and interesting things. These are things that you may have never noticed while speeding by in the car. Taking a walk every now and then can give you a great new perspective on the world around you.

2. Go for a bike ride
If you looking for exercise and entertainment in one, then talking a bike ride may be the way to go. It can give you a greater variety of scenery than walking, while still allowing for both entertainment and exercise. It does not give you quite as much time to sit and notice the things around you as walking does, but you may still uncover new and interesting places. Also, you can usually pick up used bikes for fairly reasonable prices. Once you have a bike, it can pay dividends towards your exercise and budget goals.

3. Go to the library
The local library is a great place to find things to do. The types of entertainment you find here can vary greatly depending on the particular library you visit. Some libraries only have books, while others may have much more. Also, you can get a two for one deal with this by walking or riding a bike to the library.

4. Go to the park
The park can be a fun and relaxing place. Like the library, the types of entertainment available at the local park can vary quite a bit. Some have nothing but grass and maybe some playground equipment, while others have basketball/tennis courts and even swimming pools. Also, if your local park isn’t what you want, you might want to try visiting some of the other parks near by.

5. Visit local historical places
Often times there is quite a bit of history around where you live, without you ever even knowing about it. Finding these places can take a bit of research, but they can be very interesting to visit. You might be surprised with just how much history is behind the areas around you.

6. Join a local sports team
If your at all into any sport, chances are you can find a sports team that you may be able to join. Depending on how often they meet, this can provide you with a good amount of entertainment with the added benefit of exercise and the opportunity to meet new people.

7. Go to the beach
There are quite a few beaches open to the public where you can play volleyball, swim, or just sit out in the sun. Sometimes you can even rent out small paddle boats by the hour.

8. Plant a garden
Planting a garden can provide you with entertainment, healthy food, and fresh air. It may also even save you a bit of money on your grocery bill.

9. Volunteer to a good cause
There are lots of things you can volunteer for. One common place you might find to volunteer at is a homeless shelter. If there is not one near you, do some research and maybe ask around about some other opportunities within your local community.

10. Learn a new skill
Learning a new skill can help you in more ways than just providing you entertainment. It can give you an edge on things like college and job applications, and maybe even help you learn new things about yourself.