Simply Happier

Occasionally you run into situations where you automatically react to without even thinking twice about it. These automatic reactions occur in all types of situations, some with more frequency then others.

Often times, automatic reactions happen when we are angry or in a bad state of mind. They like to occur during this times because we are not as aware of what we are doing. For example, suppose you have just moved out of an apartment and into a new house. At first, that new house might have seemed great compared to the apartment you were previously living in. But now all of the sudden you are consumed with the responsibility of having to do a wide variety of chores that you didn’t previously have to worry about. You might not have realized just how much work the big yard would be, or how much of a pain it would be having to weed the flower/vegetable garden.

Situations like this tend to easily stir up automatic reactions. Without even realizing it, you may begin to get angry every time any kind of household chore comes up that you are not used to doing. By changing your reaction to situations such as this, you can save yourself a lot of unneeded grief.

Reactions are powerful

Having to do extra work that you did not anticipate can be a real hassle, but your reaction can be worse than the work itself. Suppose instead of just doing the work, you sit around just thinking about how much you don’t want to do it. By sitting around thinking about how much you do not want to do something, you are just giving more time and energy to the thing that is causing you distress. Essentially you are just feeding your own unhappiness, and when you do this you only become more unhappy. It can take some real work to change your reactions to situations like this one, but it is within your power to do so.

Of course the house and yard work are just examples. The main point is that you can change your reaction to a situation.

Changing your reactions

To change your reactions in different situations, you must first realize you are reacting as you are doing it. This takes some practice. You might not notice many reactions at first because you are accustomed to letting them play out automatically. Just keep in mind that in many situations your initial reaction is automatic, and that by default you are not really fully aware of them as they happen. Once you realize you are preforming (or have recently performed) an automatic reaction to a situation, you are then one step closer to catching yourself doing it, and eventually changing it as or before it happens.

When is a reaction worth changing?

Not all reactions are even worth the effort to change. Bad habits or nervous twitches can be tremendously hard to change and require a great deal of effort for very little reward. It is up to you to decide if a reaction is actually worth the amount of work needed to change it. Sometimes drastic changes that require a lot of work can really pay off, but other times they are just not worth it and you are better of using that effort to do something else. Here a few questions to help determine if a reaction is worth the work to change.

Is there a reasonable way to change your reaction to the situation?

Is there a better reaction that you can replace with the undesired reaction?

How hard would it be to implement this change?

How long do you expect it would take to change?

Do you expect to be successful at making this change?

What is the reward/benefit?

Is the reward/benefit worth it?

Each situation is unique, and it is up to you to decide which ones are worth it.