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Category: Miscellaneous

Do What You Want

Do What You Want

do-what-you-want-thumbPeople seem to have a strong desire to impress others. Sometimes this can be useful. In cases such as job interviews, first meetings with people, or special occasions it is probably a good idea to watch what you say and do. However many people take this further, and try to impress people all the time. Sometimes they can be so worried about what others think, that it keeps them from doing what they want.

Why is this? Well it could be a fear of rejection. If someone thinks your hobbies are weird, they may not like you. It could also be a fear of failure, or many other reasons. You should not let any of this stop you from what you really want to do though.

If someone doesn’t like the things you collect or the music you listen to, too bad for them. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, they are not worth being friends with anyway. If you are scared to join a sports team for fear of being called a dumb jock, don’t be. Don’t let others opinions dictate what you do. It’s your life, do what makes you happy.

Don’t be afraid to fail either. Most people are not good at something right away. It takes practice. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t hit a home run the first day on the team, or if your painting is not a masterpiece. Just stick with it, you will get better. Then someday you could have something to look back on a feel proud of. This will never happen though, if you give up.

The main point is to go out there and do what makes you happy. Don’t worry about failing, or what others think. With practice you can master anything, all you need is the drive to make it happen. Also if people don’t like you just because of you hobbies, too bad, you deserve better.

Make it Right

Make it Right

make-it-right-thumbEverybody has done or said something they regret in life. Often times people are hurt through bad decisions we make. These bad choices can often leave friendships or relationships in pieces. Many times these relationships never get mended, and it leaves both sides wondering what could have happened if they just made up.

Well, why don’t people just make up? A lot of the time they might feel that the relationship is too damaged, that the other person will not forgive them for what they have done. This might be true at the beginning. However, if you give the other person some space they may come around. Don’t expect them to be the one who tries to make peace though. They are hurt, and might think you don’t care anymore. If you are the one to come to them though, they may think differently.

However, don’t expect things will go back to how they once were right away. Things might be awkward for a awhile, and it may take some time for them to let you fully back in. Don’t give up though. If this relationship or friendship was meant to be, it will get better.

Try being extra nice to them, and show them you really do care about them. Take them out to their favorite restaurant, or surprise them one day with a special gift. Also try to be aware of what you say, this is a sensitive time, and if you say the wrong thing, you could lose them again, and the second time it might be harder to get them back.

The main point is everyone makes mistakes, and if someone cares about you they usually will forgive you in time. So don’t be afraid to call up someone you had a fight with and make it right again. You might be surprised, they might have been waiting all this time for you to call up and apologize. They probably missed you.

Throw a Party

Throw a Party

throw-a-party-thumbEveryone at one time or another feels the need to cut loose, and not worry about anything. A party is a great way to do this. Parties do not require a special occasion nor to they require you to be old enough to drink. All you need for a party is good friends and a location to have it.

One misconception is that you need to have money to throw a party. You do not need to cater out and worry about decorating the house all fancy if you don’t want to. In fact you don’t even need a house at all. You could reserve a few lanes at the bowling alley and invite all your friends to come bowl for a few hours. The bowling alley is actually a great place to have a party when they are doing cosmic bowling. They replace all the regular lights with black-lights and rotating colored lights, and play dance music. At this point it almost becomes closer to a dance club than a normal bowling alley. (Trust me its also much more fun!)

Bowling Alleys are not the only place to have a party outside the house though. Resterants and campgrounds also make good places to have parties. Be aware of a few things with these locations though. At a resterant you may want to call ahead if you have a large party, so they can have a space ready for you. If not you may have to wait for quite awhile, since they may need to clear a few tables to accommiadate your party. Having a party at a campground can be fun because you get to spend time outdoors, cook your own food over a campfire, and do something different you probabaly don’t do often. However be aware that if you are at a campground where the campsites are close together, neighboring campers might get mad if you are being too loud. So try to find a campground with camp sites that are far apart, and be courteous of your neighbors.

Parties are very social settings. As well as catching up with old friends, you can also make new ones. A great way to do this is to allow each person to invite one guest. Be aware of this though, because if you invite too many people, or someone invites more than one guest, your party can get out of control quickly.

There is nothing really quite like a fun party with good friends. Remember though like everything else there are certian things you need to be aware of, and certian procautions you might need to take. However, if done right, great parties can make memories for years to come, and fun times you may never forget.

Reconnect with an Old Friend

Reconnect with an Old Friend

Many times we find ourselves thinking about the people we used to know and wondering what they are doing. Back several years ago, if you or your friends moved away, and you didn’t have their address, there was a good chance you would never see them again. Even if you did have their address, writing letters was time consuming and tedious, so eventually you would probably stop writing and lose touch.

That is not the case at all anymore. With multiple social networks all over the internet, it is much easier to get back in touch with your friends. I personally have reconnected with a lot of my old school friends online. You don’t even have to know where someone lives anymore. Most peoples profiles have pictures on them so all you have to know is the persons first and last name to find them.

Also cell phone plans have changed a lot over the last few years. Most cell phone plans have free long distance, so as long as your friends still live in the country you can call them for the same price as your friend down the street. You could start out by contacting them through one of their online profiles, and then through chatting find out their phone number. This could lead to hours of fun conversations and revisiting the old jokes that would make you laugh until you cried.

People think that as time passes it can become to late to contact an old friend. They think their friends will not remember them, or they will have moved on and not want to revisit the past. Well this is almost never the case. Most people do not forget others they were close with, no matter how much time passes. They will most likely be glad to hear from you and want to know what you have been up to all these years. These conversations might even lead to a meet up were you can get together and hang out like you used to.

Whether it is through the internet or phone or both, reconnecting with friends can be a major source of happiness.  I’ve lost touch with people for a few years, reconnected and picked up right where we left off. I have still stayed close with one friend that I once lost touch with, and still to this day consider her one of my best friends.

Challenge Yourself

Challenge Yourself

challenge-yourselfLife without challenges is little more than a procession of one menial tasks or event after another.  Challenges are what make things interesting and exciting.  They are one of the primary deterrents of boredom, and have the potential to be one of your biggest sources of motivation.  If you are working on overcoming a reasonable challenge, then chances are you are able to be focus, engaged, and have some kind of meaning in your life.  What more could you really ask for?

Indeed, challenges can be a source of great happiness.  They have the ability to give your actions both meaning and purpose.

Finding the right challenges
Not every challenge is created equal, and to find one that fits right with you can be a challenge in itself.  Give yourself a bigger challenge than you can handle are you are likely to end up in deep frustration and disappointment.  On the other hand, if you give yourself too small of a challenge then you may find yourself becoming bored and unmotivated.  The importance of finding the right challenges for you is critical.

The right challenge is neither too easy as to incite boredom, nor too hard as to evoke relentless frustration.  It usually allows you to either build upon your preexisting skills, or learn new ones.  A good challenge is something you should be able to take pride in completing.

Getting the most out of a challenge
One of the primary purposes of putting yourself through a challenge is to receive the potential rewards for having completed it.  A good challenge should give you at least some kind of reward whether it be in increased skills, material gain, or just plain fun.  If it is a challenge is to be worth your efforts, then you should be able to gain something from it.

The things you gain from a challenge can vary greatly depending on how you actually work towards completing that challenge.  For example, if your challenge is to complete a particular task in order to receive some reward, then you can reasonable assume that the reward for the challenge is the reward you will receive when the task is complete.  While this is true, there are many more rewards you can potentially receive other than the big payout.

Sometimes the things you gain along your journey are worth just as much and sometimes even more than the final reward.  It could be that during your task you may have the opportunity to increase a particular skill, or build a better relationship with someone you care about.  Both of these things aren’t related to the final payout, but both can be greatly beneficial.

Life without challenges is little more than a procession of one menial tasks or event after another. Challenges are what make things interesting and exciting. They are one of the primary deterrents of boredom, and have the potential to be one of your biggest sources of motivation. If you are working on overcoming a reasonable challenge, then chances are you are able to be focus, engaged, and have some kind of meaning in your life. What more could you really ask for?

Indeed, challenges can be a source of great happiness. They have the ability to give your actions both meaning and purpose.

Finding the right challenges

Not every challenge is created equal, and to find one that fits right with you can be a challenge in itself. Give yourself a bigger challenge than you can handle are you are likely to end up in deep frustration and disappointment. On the other hand, if you give yourself too small of a challenge then you may find yourself becoming bored and unmotivated. The importance of finding the right challenges for you is critical.

The right challenge is neither too easy as to incite boredom, nor too hard as to evoke relentless frustration. It usually allows you to either build upon your preexisting skills, or learn new ones. A good challenge is something you should be able to take pride in completing.

Getting the most out of a challenge

One of the primary purposes of putting yourself through a challenge is to receive the potential rewards for having completed it. A good challenge should give you at least some kind of reward whether it be in increased skills, material gain, or just plain fun. If it is a challenge is to be worth your efforts, then you should be able to gain something from it.

The things you gain from a challenge can vary greatly depending on how you actually work towards completing that challenge. For example, if your challenge is to complete a particular task in order to receive some reward, then you can reasonable assume that the reward for the challenge is the reward you will receive when the task is complete. While this is true, there are many more rewards you can potentially receive other than the big payout.

Sometimes the things you gain along your journey are worth just as much and sometimes even more than the final reward. It could be that during your task you may have the opportunity to increase a particular skill, or build a better relationship with someone you care about. Both of these things aren’t related to the final payout, but both can be greatly beneficial.

Surprise Someone Special

Surprise Someone Special

surprise-someone-special-thumb
Everyone wants to feel loved, to feel like they are someone special. There has probably been times in your life where someone special did something really nice for you to cheer you up, or to just show they care. Why not repay the favor and do something nice for someone special in your life.

Doing something nice can be as big or as small as you want. You could buy tickets for an event they want to see or take them out to dinner at their favorite place. It could also be as simple as picking up their favorite kind of cookies and surprising them with it. In fact doing something nice could cost nothing at all. You could hand make them something thoughtful such as a collage of photos, or a video of funny memories. It could even be as simple as offering to go for a walk with them to get away when they have had a bad day.

Now some of you are probably thinking, “I’m single, I don’t have a special someone.” Somehow i doubt thats true. Even if you are not dating someone or married, I am sure there is someone in your life you are close with. Someone you hang out with often and who knows everything about you. This could be anyone from a family member to a close friend. What matters is that they are important and special to you.

A very important part about caring about someone is showing them that. One of the best ways to do that is to go out of your way every once in awhile and do something nice for them. Remember that if you are nice to others, they will be nice to you. Maybe one day someone special will treat you to dinner, or surprise you with your favorite snack.

Teach What You Know

Teach What You Know

teach-what-you-know-thumbMost people have something they are good at, whether its a hobby or something they do professionally. However many people don’t realize they can help by teaching others what they are good at.

Teaching does not have to be done in a classroom or any professional setting for that matter. In fact it can be as simple as showing your friend how you made that cool computer background. Teaching is not just showing however. You also must guide the person through the process. Let them know what they are doing right and what they can improve on. Also be ready to answer any questions they might have.

Now how does this help my happiness?

Well, having taught people myself I can tell you that you get a great sense of accomplishment by helping others. Its also a good feeling when you look at how someone has improved just since you started helping them. Also teaching makes you look at the finer points of a skill. This in turn actually helps you become better at it.

I know many people are thinking, “I have a busy schedule, I don’t have time to teach.”  Although many of you don’t realize that you might already be teaching. Helping your children with homework, or playing a sport can be a form of teaching. Even helping a family member with computer problems can be. You are helping someone with a problem, and therefore improving their knowledge in that specific skill. If you don’t already do this though, you should think about it. You can pass on valuable knowledge to others, and possibly even grow closer in the process.

Be Thankful for Family

Be Thankful for Family

be-thankful-for-family-thumbPeople are always talking about the importance of family, but you really never think much of it. However you really should. Family is important because they are some of the only people who will be there for you no matter what, will usually forgive you no matter what you do, and will be there to help when you need them.

Families are great to stay close to because they can be there for you when you need them. Lets say your an adult and you’ve been moved out for awhile, but you ran out of money or had a fight with your roomate. Often times in these cases family will let you live with them for awhile till you get back on your feet or find somewhere else to live.

Families can also be there to talk to when you are having problems. Often times family can also offer insight different than that of your peers. Older generations can tell you what they know from experiencing things that people your own age might not have. Younger generations can also help by teaching you to appreciate the simple things in life, and not get so stressed out over the little things.

Families are also some of the only people that will usually stick by your side no matter what. Often times you can say horrible things to a family member during a fight, and it will often be forgiven a few days later. This is an important thing, because often in life people go through bad times and say or do things they don’t mean. So it is nice to know that there are some people who will always be there even through the bad times.

Family is a very important source of happiness in life. They are the only people who have literally been there for you for your whole life, and will probably continue to be there for you for the rest of it, and any time you just need someone to talk to.

Appreciating what you have

Appreciating what you have

appreciating-what-you-haveWhile its important to continue improve upon yourself, it is also important to take some time out to just be happy with your current situation. Its easy to get lost in the constant struggle to get to the next big thing. The trouble is that there are almost always going to be some things that could be better. You could spend your while life worrying about what you don’t have, without ever fully appreciating what you do have.

Realize what you have
Its not always easy to appreciate what you have simply because you don’t realize you have it. There are a lot of things you probably have that you might take for granted every day. Even if you don’t think much of something, it could be a lot more than many other people have(or ever will for that matter).

Just the fact that your able to read this article means that you most likely have internet access, which by itself is a big thing to be appreciative of. Here is a list of a few categories which might help you come up with some things you have to be appreciative for:

Heath
Family
Friends
Hobbies
Interests
Possessions

These categories are meant to be very basic and broad ranging. You can find specific things to appreciate by expanding upon them. All you need to do is find a category in which you have a lot of things to appreciative, and think of some things within that category. For example, if you have a large or close family you could think of the family members which mean the most to you. You can also think of some of the things they have recently done for you. These categories just to help get you started, if they don’t quite work out, you can always make up your own.

The main point is that if you don’t take the time to just sit back and enjoy what you have, then you are missing out. You probably had to work quite hard to be very lucky to have some of things you have in your life. Why not take the time to really enjoy the fact that you have them?

Change It Up

Change It Up

change-it-up-thumbEventually everyone seems to get bored with doing the same thing over and over every day. Going to the same job, coming back to the same house, and driving around the same town all the time. Life needs excitement, and one of the ways you can do that is by changing it up a little.

Ideal ways to change up your life would be to move to a whole new location or get a new job. Maybe even both. However this is not always possible for everyone. You might not have the money saved up to make a move, or you might not be able to afford to lose your insurance. However there are small simpler ways to change up your daily routine and keep it interesting.

One way to change things up is to go on a vacation. This might seem like an expensive option, but a vacation does not have to be a big deal. Just going away to somewhere interesting for the weekend can give you a nice break from the daily grind. Plus you might come home with memories you can remember for years to come.

Another way to mix up your routine a bit is by volunteering. Now you probably won’t get paid, but you will be doing something different, and the rewards can be great. Volunteering to do things such as help at a homeless shelter or teach some kids a sport might possibly be life changing for those you are helping.

If you have some money saved, another great thing you can do to keep things interesting is to go back to school. Doing this can teach you new skills, and eventually maybe make it easier to find a new job. Plus you might meet some interesting people along the way, who in turn also might be able to teach you what they know, and add to your learning experience.

Everyone will inevitably get bored with life and doing the same thing all the time. It is important to change things up once in awhile to keep this from happening. You don’t need to change your life drastically to keep it interesting. Sometimes its just as simple as trying something new.

Cheer Someone Up

Cheer Someone Up

cheer-someone-up-thumbEveryone will inevitably have bad things happen to them. The difference a lot of times between a bad day, and just a bad event can be determined by a caring friend. You all know you have had times were everything is going wrong, and you feel like there’s no hope. Then all of a sudden your crazy friend walks in the room and says something hilarious. Just this little act of kindness can make a huge difference in whether someone has a good or a bad day.

Everyone appreciates someone making them smile when they feel bad, but why not repay the favor. As I have pretty much said before, help others, and they will help you. Making someones day, or even just cheering them up a little can actually be one of the greatest sources of happiness.

Cheering someone up can actually be really simple. One of the things that can make my bad day better is laughter, and even better if someone else makes me laugh. There is a whole bunch of ways to do this. It can be as simple as just a joke or reminding someone of a funny time you have shared.

If humor is not your thing, there are many other ways to cheer someone up. You can offer to take them out somewhere to get away. This is good because it gives them a distraction, and can also brighten their mood if its something they have a fun time doing. Also something as simple as sending an email or text message can let them know you care. Often its just as easy as lending an ear, and letting them talk about whats bothering them.

Cheering someone up when they are having a bad day can be one of the most satisfying ways to bring happiness to others and yourself. It often requires very little effort, but just one nice thing could make someones whole day. One day you might be the one who has a bad day, and that friend you cheered up before might pay back the favor.

Thinking in Probabilities

Thinking in Probabilities

thinking-in-probabilitiesA good part of life can be thought of as a very complicated relationship of probabilities. Sometimes the odds are in your favor, and sometimes they’re not. Many times you can help tip the odds in your favor by doing certain things. This doesn’t ensure you will always come out ahead and win, but it at least gives you a better chance at doing so. When the odds are in your favor, the only thing you really know is that the end result of you winning is more likely to occur.

What do you mean, win?
Before going any further, lets more fully define the meaning of “win” in regards to this article. When I say win, what I’m mostly referring to is you getting what you want. That’s it. It can be just about any situation from passing a class, getting a job you desire, or winning a new sports car. Of course, situations where you really lose when you win aren’t being put into this equation. These are situations such as if you win and get the new job, and then end up disliking it. Or if you win and get the sports car, and then shortly thereafter to go into debt from speeding tickets. For the sake of simplicity, situations such as these are excluded from this articles definition of “win”.

So then, what does it take to optimize your chances of winning? Well, for starters you’ll usually want the odds to be in your favor to begin with. If they aren’t that’s still okay though since you can often alter them through your actions. You do this by doing things that will increase your chances of getting what you want. Start by thinking of a set of things you can do to increase your chances of obtaining your goal. When you have a couple things in mind, think of the things from that set which are likely to increase your chances to most.

Beware of probability relationships
Many probabilities are inter-related, so you should carefully consider any consequences to other things before starting on your goal of increasing your odds. For example, the probability of you getting the career you desire might go up as you put more time and effort into it.  However, doing this might bring down the probability of getting other things you desire, such as finishing up other personal goals or projects. Sometimes its all a game of trade offs, and you’ll need to consider what is most important.

Keep your goal in line
Remember, the goal is to increase your odds of winning. While the desired result may be that you win or lose, what you are really working towards is only to increase your chances of winning.  This is because increasing your chances is pretty much one of the only things you can do improve the situation.  Winning or losing is the end result, and not something you can really directly put work into.  Working the balance of probabilities is the part you put work into.  There are no guarantees, which is why the goal is only to increase your chances the best you can.

While its true that sometimes you win even against unspeakable odds, this is just good luck. It can happen to anyone, at any time. This is the type of thing you can hope for, but not reasonably expect. Its mostly just an occasional pleasant surprise. Usually the better position to be in is to have the odds in your favor through planning and hard work, rather than simply hoping for the best.

Lend a Hand

Lend a Hand

lend-a-hand-thumbPeople always say life really is about the small stuff. It may sound stupid, but just think about it. Lets say you’ve been out running errands all day. Your arms are full of bags, and your legs are sore from walking. You stare at the door and try to think of how you can shift your bags to try and open it. Than someone passing holds the door for you and smiles. Just this little act of courtesy, might have made your day just a little better.

However if you want others to help you, you should also help others. You never know when you might be that person with all the bags, who needs a door opened for them. This could also be used as a metaphor. Someone might be more willing to put in a better word for you at the company they work for, if you have done something nice for them in the past. Plus helping people out can give you a sense of pride, and let others know you are a good person.

You can also meet new people by helping others. If you volunteer to coach your kids softball team, you will at some point end up talking to the other parents. This could lead to new friendships. Another great way to meet new people is volunteering at the local nursing home. By talking to some elder members of the community you might get some new insight on life from someone who has been through much more than you. This is also a great way to spend your time, because a lot of these people are lonely, and would really like someone to talk to. In my own personal experience, I have volunteered to teach disabled kids karate. I spent so much time around these kids, that I ended up becoming friends with some of them. One I even still talk to twelve years after we first met.

Helping others can even be simpler than opening a door or volunteering your time. In fact it can require almost no effort at all sometimes. What I’m talking about is donations. Many towns have companies that will collect donations right from your front door. You know you probably won’t wear those outdated clothes from 10 years ago again, and all they are doing is taking up space and collecting dust. So why not donate them to charity? It helps you by freeing up more space, and it helps others who may not be able to afford new clothes.

Helping others is a great way to spend your time. You might even make yourself feel good in the process, or get insight from others that you would have never thought of yourself. Plus there’s always karma, what goes around comes around. If you help someone out, someone might help you out when you really need it.

How to Leave Your Past Behind

How to Leave Your Past Behind

how-to-leave-your-past-behindThe past can often be a source of confusion, regretfulness, and doubt which is unnecessarily harmful to your present state of being. Getting over your past is a very powerful step towards living better in your present. This of course, is easier said than done.
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Generally you probably know which thoughts about your past are beneficial, and which are only hurting you. You most likely enjoy thinking about happy past events, while slightly cringe at reminders of less pleasureful times. To a certain point its okay to think about painful past events in order to learn from them, but you should not let this casual thinking turn into obsession. When you obsess about painful thoughts, its easy to become fearful, angry, and self doubting. This is no way to be happy.

Acceptance
“Accept your past.” You’ve probably read or heard this phrase before. In fact you’ve probably head it so often that it might almost seem like common sense knowledge. The concept behind it seems simple enough. Its pretty much just another way of saying “Get over it.” But what does this really mean? What does it actually mean to get over something? Does it mean that you wont think about it anymore? No… not really, because you can be “over” something and still think about it occasionally.

Then does it mean you wont feel pain from memories of it anymore? Well, this may be one definition of getting over something, but its hardly something that can be controlled. Often enough time is the only thing that fully heals pain associated with thoughts. Acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t think about painful events, nor does it really mean that you won’t feel pain from them. It more so means that your okay with the given situation. It means that you know a certain event happened, you know that it caused you pain, and you know that in time you will not feel so bad about it. It means that you are okay with whatever happened, and can accept the fact that it happened.

Acceptance is important and should not be overlooked when trying to get over past events. Often its best to learn what you can from your past, learn to accept it, and move on with things the best you can.

Be Active
When thoughts past events are bothering you, one of the best ways to relieve some of the stress is by keeping yourself active. Your mind is a powerful thing, but it can only consciously focus on a handful of things at one time. Fortunately you can take advantage of that situation. Keep your mind occupied by giving it something to do or focus on. This way you bring your attention to something of your choosing, instead of something unwanted.

Move forward
In the past you were who you were, and things happened as they did. There is no changing that. If you want to change something, there is really only one direction to go, and its not backward. Remember, time is going to move forward whether or not your mind does. Anything that happened in the past is unchangeable and therefore not usually worth dwelling upon. Unfortunately its all too easy to obsess about painful events. The more you think about them, the harder they seem to be to let go of. It is for this reason that after you have learned everything you are really going to learn from your past and accepted it, you should move forward and work on what good things you want to bring into your life.