Simply Happier

The past can often be a source of confusion, regretfulness, and doubt which is unnecessarily harmful to your present state of being. Getting over your past is a very powerful step towards living better in your present. This of course, is easier said than done.
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Generally you probably know which thoughts about your past are beneficial, and which are only hurting you. You most likely enjoy thinking about happy past events, while slightly cringe at reminders of less pleasureful times. To a certain point its okay to think about painful past events in order to learn from them, but you should not let this casual thinking turn into obsession. When you obsess about painful thoughts, its easy to become fearful, angry, and self doubting. This is no way to be happy.

Acceptance
“Accept your past.” You’ve probably read or heard this phrase before. In fact you’ve probably head it so often that it might almost seem like common sense knowledge. The concept behind it seems simple enough. Its pretty much just another way of saying “Get over it.” But what does this really mean? What does it actually mean to get over something? Does it mean that you wont think about it anymore? No… not really, because you can be “over” something and still think about it occasionally.

Then does it mean you wont feel pain from memories of it anymore? Well, this may be one definition of getting over something, but its hardly something that can be controlled. Often enough time is the only thing that fully heals pain associated with thoughts. Acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t think about painful events, nor does it really mean that you won’t feel pain from them. It more so means that your okay with the given situation. It means that you know a certain event happened, you know that it caused you pain, and you know that in time you will not feel so bad about it. It means that you are okay with whatever happened, and can accept the fact that it happened.

Acceptance is important and should not be overlooked when trying to get over past events. Often its best to learn what you can from your past, learn to accept it, and move on with things the best you can.

Be Active
When thoughts past events are bothering you, one of the best ways to relieve some of the stress is by keeping yourself active. Your mind is a powerful thing, but it can only consciously focus on a handful of things at one time. Fortunately you can take advantage of that situation. Keep your mind occupied by giving it something to do or focus on. This way you bring your attention to something of your choosing, instead of something unwanted.

Move forward
In the past you were who you were, and things happened as they did. There is no changing that. If you want to change something, there is really only one direction to go, and its not backward. Remember, time is going to move forward whether or not your mind does. Anything that happened in the past is unchangeable and therefore not usually worth dwelling upon. Unfortunately its all too easy to obsess about painful events. The more you think about them, the harder they seem to be to let go of. It is for this reason that after you have learned everything you are really going to learn from your past and accepted it, you should move forward and work on what good things you want to bring into your life.